Listen up you pencil-necked-geeks.
On 23 September 2018, you are required to assemble in the pre-designated parade ground at YMCA Mt Evelyn at precisely 0915 hours to await your mission briefing. Intelligence will bring you up to speed on the 55km of quality hard-packed gravel trails, paths, foxholes, and singletrack that climb 1,500m en route to your allocated rendezvous point.
Privates, this may be Australias largest gravel grind in its the eighth year however, we dont expect everyone to have the 4-1-1 on the fact that this is a sanctioned lycra party, not a race. You are expected to un-behave accordingly. Do you understand?